


Forgotten moments

by Teddymeastrid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Angst, Animagus, Animal Transformation, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Panic, Gay Sirius Black, Happy Ending, Lost Love, Love, M/M, Marauders, Mischief, Multi, Remus Lupin Lives, Sexual Tension, Sirius Black Lives, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29927808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teddymeastrid/pseuds/Teddymeastrid
Summary: Set in the prisoner of Azkaban.Remus struggles when he finds out Sirius Black, the love of his life and the man who presumably killed his best friend reaches out with an important, yet cryptic message.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Sirius skillfully avoids the the croud, looking at everyone who might resemble that spesific face he's after. People hurry past him and hardly even bats an eye at the dog walking at kings cross station. 

These normal people all of a sudden seem to make way for cloaked ones as the hall he's in fills up with kids, ready to go to Hogwarts, either for the very first time or even the seventh. He envies them. The innocence still running through their veins. 

Then he spots him. The boy who very much so looks like his father. The boy who was the reason for all of their sacrifices. He takes a few steps forward, but stops at the sight of another familiar face. Remus. The man watches Harry closely from a distance. Not much unlike what Sirius is doing. He looks older. Twelve years. It had been so long. Had Remus even thought about him in those years? Or better yet, had he thought of him as anyone other than the man who killed his best friend? 

With that line of thought, both of them were gone. The brick hiding that familiar sight of platform 9 3/4. He missed those days at school with every inch of his body down to the last flea. At least sneaking into Hogwarts would be as easy as sneaking out. He just needed to get there. Preferably unseen and out of the dementors reach. 

Before entering the platform, Remus has a strong feeling of being watched. Goosebumps rises on his arms as he finds this feeling quite familiar. At the corner of his eye he spots a four legged creature. It can't be anyone but him. 

Ever since Dumbledore came to his home and told him the news, he'd been confused and scared and overall wierdly content with the fact that sirius was out of Azkaban. He'd wanted to talk to him ever since it happened, but it had seemed impossible for a while. Getting into a highly guarded prison wasn't as easy as he'd previously thought. Shocker... As dangerous as Sirius might be, Remus needed some answers. And unfortunately, there was only one man alive that could give him some. That's the only reason he said yes to Dubledores offer. Looking Harry in the eyes would be hard. He already knew that much. Dumbledore had told him about the boy who looked so much like his father. Who had the courage of both his parents. Yet somehow, it felt like the right time. To both protect Harry and to face Sirius again. If anyone were to kill him, better Remus than the dementors, he thought to himself.


	2. Back again

Remus sits down in an empty cart. Thinking about the time he and his friends pranked Snape by lighting tiny fireworks in the candy lady's trolley just as he was about to reach for some candy. Sirius own invention, those were. His head fell to the side as he dozed off for a bit, dreaming about the four of them together, doing pranks on Snape so he would leave them and Lily alone. 

He wakes up to someone opening the door, but he decides to remain silent. As luck would have it, it was in fact Harry and his friends. He listened intently as Harry described Sirius Black, the man who killed his parents and what he had been told about the situation. 

The mood changes fast. And it is over before even Remus manages to know what's going on. The patronus charm seems like an impulse. The dementor is gone and Harry falls over. 

He gives the other two some chocolate. "Here, it will help". He smiles a little.  
"Chocolate?" The girl asks.   
"It helps with most things, happiness most of all". Remus responds. Then Harry wakes up and gets the same treatment. And so, Remus finally gets to pay attention to Harry, and actually see how similar to James he really is.   
"I... I gotta talk to the driver". He says and gets up to leave.


	3. Hogsmeade

Sirius finally manages to get to Hogsmeade. The tiny town seems to be flooded with people talking to and fro about the murderer who killed his best friend. If it weren't for the heavy rain, he would swear his eyes were just sweaty. Luckily, again, no one payed attention to a stray mutt hiding in the shadows. He would have to find some kind of base though. And fairly quickly too, before the dementors could get to him. 

"Hey there, you, you out here by yourself?" An old mans voice whispered behind him. Sirius whimpered.   
"Come here, i'll get you inside to warm up and give you a decent meal. You lool like you haven't eaten in forever". Sirius followed the man inside and down into a basement that looked like a shelter of some sort. 

First the man found a blanket, a mattress and a pillow and then he went upstairs, so Sirius simply found his way over to the makeshift bed and collapsed on it. Then he came back downstairs again with a huge bowl of something that smelled heavenly. He put the bowl on the table and sat down on the opposite side.  
"I know who you are". He smiled. "Sirius Black, the apparent murderer of his best friend and his wife. I haven't seen you in forever. Maybe you don't recognize me, so let me introduce myself again. I am Aberforth Dumbledore and I would very much like to hear what you have to say".

Sirius changed back into his human appearance and it felt strange to do that after so long. "How did you know it was me?" He asked the man.  
"You're everything the wizarding world is talking about right now. Plus, if I am not mistaken, I used to see a lot your peculiar group around these parts at night. The shrieking shack is owned by me, so naturally I knew about the ins and outs of all of you back then. So what actually happened that day?"

The man was bold, Sirius had to give him that. Little to no pleasantries. Of course. A true Dumbledore he was.   
"Peter Pettigrew". Sirius spat. "That rat of a person cowered in fear, would rather see his best friend and family die, than actually have some backbone. There were whispers at Azkaban. Cruel nightmares crept through the halls, alerting me about HIS return. I had to get out. And now I need to protect Harry at all costs. They cannot know I am here. I cannot enter the castle to speak to him, and he should not seek me out. Danger awaits outside the walls of Hogwarts. Danger no one can even fathom".  
"We need to contact your werewolf friend". Aberforth stated. Sirius agreed, although maybe a bit reluctantly. 

Remus found himself in the familiar space of Dumbledores office, where they as teenagers had fought hard to avoid any sort of punishment. Strangely enough, he always felt secure in this room. Like the heart of the school itself dwelled here. It meant safety to him.   
"Professor Lupin. It does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" Dumbledore chuckled as if it was the last thing he'd imagine would happen. "How was the first class?"   
"It went suprisingly well, actually. I didn't expect this to be much fun, to be honest".   
"Hah, delightful. I knew you would be good at this. Out of anyone, I trust your opinion a lot, dear Remus". There was an underdwelling tone in his voice when he said it.  
"Where do you think Sirius would be at the moment?"   
"I don't know, professor. I clearly don't even know him well enough to understand that he planned to kill our best friend".   
"Oh I wouldn't be so sure, Remus. If anyone knew him, I would have thought it should be you".   
"Well so did I, but clearly I was wrong. The Sirius I knew would rather die than give his friends and godson to the enemy. If he didn't do it, who else would?"  
"I don't know". Dumbledore said and lowered his head into his hands. Remus took it as a sign to leave.

Later that night, an owl flew in though Remus window and landed next to him on his huge wooden desk. In his beak he had a tiny note that read "dead isn't dead till proven otherwise". For a second Remus wondered if Dumbledore had sent the note, but quickly after, looked more closely at the handwriting. It had barely changed at all. He clutched the paper in his hand. He had more important things to do than ponder the writings of a madman.

Yet still, when the night came, and the sleep didn't, he couldn't help but wonder what it meant.


	4. A new home

"I can't belive i never noticed this, it would have been peefect for... doing stuff". Sirius said as he followed Aberforth in a dark and moist tunnel underground.   
"Well, you're about to see why". He chuckled back. The tunnel ended in a wider room that seemed to lead nowhere. A wand appeared in the mans hand and he made Sirius take a few steps back.  
"Revelio". At the flash of his wand, a small staircase appeared, along with a hatch at the top of it.   
"Just follow this and you'll be safe for now".  
"Thank you so much for your generosity. And for letting me explain myself. Just please, keep this a secret from the headmaster". 

Sirius then left Aberforth alone in the hole and climbed out of the hatch and into a basement he'd never seen before. It looked like someone had really trashed the place on purpose. There were broken pieces of furniture scattered on the floor and even pieces of glass and maybe some dried blood. It wasn't until he reached the door that he saw the scratchmarks. And when he inspected the concrete walls, they were everywhere. A memory hit him like lightning from clear sky:

"You know, I spend a lot of time in there. I've shattered every glass bottle i could find and every piece of wood i could claw into to just occupy myself. The change isn't pleasant, Sirius. Sometimes I even wonder if it's worth it, you know?" Remus looked away from him and down into his own hands.   
Sirius grabbed them both and leaned in a bit. "I know it feels like that sometimes. I used to think so too. But i found something to hold on to". Remus pulled away from him.  
"What?" 

The memory was too painful so he rushed out of the room. "You", he whispered to himself while he made his way to the first floor, where the shrieking shack looked exactly as he remembered. And as the door closed behind him, it disappeared completely and he was all alone again. Drenched in the memories he had fought so hard to keep at Azkaban.

"Welcome to class, students! The first thing I am going to teach you today is extremely important for everyone here. Especially since the headmaster seems to insist on still sending students into the forbidden forest. Is everyone present?" The students said nothing, so Remus took it as a good sign.   
"So, if you bite something and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous".   
"What if it bites me and it dies?" Harry asked. Remus grinned, remembering this exact conversation with James. "That means you're poisonous".   
"And what if it bites itself and I die?"  
Hermione, as if out of the blue shows up next to Harry and answers before Remus can gather himself.   
"That's voodoo".   
"What if we bite eachother and neither of us die?" Harry asks and briefly looks over at Malfoy.   
"That's kinky". Ron replied. 

Remus knocks on the door to the headmasters room and walks in. He's sitting in his chair with his legs crossed and looks up from a norwegian knitting magazine. "Well, do enter, Remus".  
"I can't do it". Remus says and sits down in the sofa.   
"Do what?" Dumbledore asks.  
"Live my life like I don't know him. Like he's not the son of my best friend. It feels so wrong! I was his uncle. The future seemed so bright back then". He sighed.  
"My best advise would be to talk to him. Let him know who you are. With mr. Black, Potter and Pettigrew gone, you are the closest thing he will get to family".  
"Which is why I don't understand why I couldn't take care... oh. Wolf".  
"I am truly sorry". Dumbledores words were filled with sadness, but not remorse.   
"I did what I thought was best. However I have given you a chance to get to know him. And to help track down Black. Don't let that chance go because it hurts".   
"I loved him". Remus whispered.  
"Black might not be a lost cause yet, Remus".   
"I didn't talk about Sirius..."


	5. I hope he finds me

Sirius decided to set up base at the shrieking shack, but he would need a way to get into the castle. Maybe he could finally explain.   
So he went out to look at the familiar, yet unfamiliar terrain. Looking at the castle from this side, surrounded by dementors in the sky, felt so strange and terrifying. Like the world was about to change back to the worse. As if he was back in his own apartment saying goodbye to his best friend, not knowing it would be the last time they spoke. Remus clutching Sirius hand, trying not to let his emotions get the best of him while Peter silently sat with his eyes pinned on his own arm.   
And this again made Sirius feel lonely and weak. But if he died now, at least he would do so with honor.

As the thought struck him, he couldn't help but see the two people who were next to Harry going onto platform 9 3/4 standing by the fence, looking at his temporary home. He carefully moved closer as three boys walked over to them.   
"Boys, I think it's time we teach Weasleby how to respect his superiors". The tension rose as the girl replied. "Hope you don't mean yourself". Sirius couldn't help but feel proud of her. And when the word "mudblood" left the blonde boys mouth, a snowball hit him. Then another, seemingly out of nowhere. One of the boys got his pants dragged down and the blonde boy got pushed over and dragged towards the shack. Sirius saw a piece of a black shoe and at once realized it was Harry wearing James cloak. And the three friends were visibly laughing and smiling by the time he'd gathered himself. As they walked back to Hogsmeade, Sirius followed at a safe distance and hiding in the shadows when he could. Being seen now would be a foolish mistake. However, his desire to get to know his godson a little bit better, was too great. So far, he looked a lot like his father, that was for sure.

As they entered the town, Sirius fear started to set in. There were too many people to avoid in broad daylight. And as he feared, he lost track of Harry as it seemed he gone after McGonnagal. So he got back to a place where he could safely see the street without anyone seeing him. 

A few moments later, it seemed that the energy had shifted. A choir got knocked over and the two kids ran after a pair of footsteps. So again, he decided to follow and they ended up back where he had first found them.   
"Harry, what happened?" Sirius saw Harry crying and his heart really hurt. In any other situation, he would have and could have hugged him.  
"He was their friend, and he betrayed them. HE WAS THEIR FRIEND!" Harry yelled at her and Sirius heart sank. Had no one told him?   
"I hope he finds me. Because when he does, i'mma be ready. When he does, i'mma kill him". After that, Sirius decided to run. Just get away as fast as possible. When he heard it like that, it would seem he deserved it. Furthermore, Harry deserved to know the truth. And everyone else could go fuck themselves for thinking so badly of him just because of his last name.


	6. The choice

Sirius entered the castle when he'd had enough. There were no signs from Remus, to whom he'd sent three messages now. It made him angry and frustrated to know that Remus didn't trust him. It did feel like a betrayal, even though it shouldn't. He knew that. Still, it was painful to have a reaffirmed knowledge of his hate, even though it was misplaced. So his last hope was Harry. 

As a dog, he used all his senses when he finally got in. He knew this place in and out. The only sounds he heard, were the portraits snoring, and a silent sound of students eating their supper. The place smelled like sweaty teens and anxiety, however he was looking for a spesific smell. He didn't smell Harry at all, but Remus hadn't changed much. That aim filled the air and dragged him in the wrong direction. Then he heard the faint laughter of his friends. As he entered the staircases, the sound grew louder. "Shh, Remus, quiet!" James whispered as he laughed to himself. "The teachers pet can't be found roaming around at night". Sirius followed the sound up the stairs.   
"J...James, can you give us some light?" Peter said. And the memory faded. In his anger he flung himself up the stairs towards the portrait to gryffindor tower. But the lady in the picture just started screaming when she saw him. Because in his anger he couldn't control his form anymore. "Shut up! Just shut up! Let me in! I need to see him!" When she didn't stop, he clawed at her and she ran. The room was quiet again, but he had no way to enter now. 

Suddenly an orage cat sat beside him. "I know who you're looking for". She said. And Sirius was taken aback. "But we cannot speak here because someone is about to walk in on us". Sure enough, he heard footsteps. They didn't belong to any students however. The cat hid closeby.   
"Sirius?" Remus sounded unsure.   
"Yes?" He answered without thinking. Remus came running up the last set of stairs, his wand at the ready. 

The picture torn gave Remus a certain idea of what had happened. "I don't want to kill you".   
"Remus... just let me explain".   
"I can't listen to you right now, Sirius. I just want to protect Harry".  
"Me too, you don't understand".   
"Leave! Just leave! I can't be nice to you again! I need some answers and right now I can't even trust myself to make the right decision. All I know is that I can't kill you! I thought I could, but I can't so just leave!" Before Sirius turned back into a dog, Remus could see what looked like sadness in his eyes. And then the moment was over and Sirius weren't there anymore. As he left, he noticed a glimpse of a red tail following him. He just hoped he'd done the right thing. More than anything, he needed to figure out if there was any truth to Sirius madness. He really did hope so.


	7. Her secret

"Mr. Black". The cat said as they were at the edge of the forbidden forest. "Mr. Black! Please stop! I have something important to tell you!".  
"I am sorry miss cat, but can't you see I have more important things to deal with?"   
"It's Crookshanks, actually. Also, it's about Pettigrew!" That made Sirius stop for a second.   
"The one I'm looking for?"  
"Do you know any others with that name related to the Potters death? No? Thought so. Look, I know he's not dead. And I also know where he is".   
"How do you know?"  
"He's a rat. Rats like to hide where it's comfortable for them to be. I'm suprised you haven't noticed him around. Harrys friend Ron has him. I've been trying to catch him and give him to you, but Ron is constantly looking after him. Think I might kill him. And you know, the thought is tempting, Mr. Black, but I am not that kind of cat".  
"What kind of cat are you? Why do you want to catch him so badly?"  
"His master killed my family". She spat.  
"Your family? Of cats?"  
"No. I'm a maledictus. I am sure you learned about that as you read about animagi".   
"Oh. Yes, I did. I'm sorry".  
"Don't be. I just need him to lose. And having the one who killed his parents in the same room as the chosen one isn't exactly a power move. We both need him caught, so I will help. Plus, I've grown quite fond of Harry and Hermione. They treat me well".   
"I'll make sure to let them know when we get to that. Thank you".


End file.
